For more info on co-sleeping and safer sleep read our guide for parents. Co-slept with both children. My 9 month old son has had horrible nighttime anxiety and has never slept for more than a few hours at a time. My husband wants are son to stay with us and I’m worried that newborn waking up for feedings will disrupt his sleep. We co slept til he was 18 months, when I was 2 months pregnant for baby brother. She claimed that spot early on and likes it better there! Later in the same source it says “I think it incumbent and appropriate, however, for parents to ask themselves before they bring their baby to bed with them to consider how they would evaluate (as much as might be possible) their choice if a tragedy were to occur and their baby died? }. When he’s in his crib, I think he gets cold or notices I’m not there and wakes up. Research studies reveal babies are at a lower risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) when they sleep in the same room as parents. We both slept better. Our third child was and is the best sleeper of the bunch. This is something my husband and I are still trying to figure out ha! I will usually start of the night with him in the cosleeper, then bed share. Then once she started moving she decided bedtime was playtime!! HELP! Updated: Apr 22. Then something amazing happened so did I. I am pregnant 10 weeks and will be a FTM. A few tips I’ve learned that have helped me are to change out heavy covers for light ones and keep the covers at your waist so they aren’t up by your babies face. Children need to feel loved first before they can develop the desire to be independent. Mom doesn’t have to wake fully, get out of bed, and go to another room for feedings or to comfort baby. She is needing her own space. Co-sleeping can result in more sleep for baby and mom. But parents choose to have their babies in bed with them for several reasons. During their first three months of life, up to 70% of babies in Europe and America will have coslept with their parents one or more times. Getting longer than 2-hour stretches would be nice,too…But, we will get there. Before when I was sleep deprived I felt like this is what madness feels like. I’ve also been known to kick, punch, and move randomly around the bed in my sleep. I don’t know if we will continue all the way till puberty, though! The other issue, which is massive and health care providers neglect to comment on is when you place a baby on their back in a cot on a firm mattress they add too much pressure to their soft skulls (which haven’t yet fused) Nearly all babies who sleep this way end up with a flat spot on their heads. When he is done, he make sure he wipes, gives me a kiss and says bye bye! Then when I was 15 my brother lost his first 2 mo old son to sibs. My son is 8months and we co sleep. Add a comment. Now she has a bed in our room. Karin. The Lullaby Trust has worked with Public Heath England, Unicef UK Baby Friendly and Basis on two publications to support families with safer sleep advice and advice on co-sleeping more safely. (4), Baby should be placed to sleep on his back, on a firm. I loved sleeping next to her because it reassured me to have her close to me, and breastfeeding at night was quite convenient. I know sounds crazy but I had this amazing baby that I was told I could not have and with the history in the family I was on the edge thinking at any time she could die. I end up trying to hear him breathe when he is in the pack n’ play next to our bed; I just don’t sleep as well when he doesn’t sleep with me. A few months ago, he discovered how to get out of his crib so he graduated to a “big boy” bed. Co-sleeping is a practice in which babies and young children sleep close to one or both parents, as opposed to in a separate room. So glad to know we are not alone! I think we all just have to find what works for our families and let go of any judgement because at the end of the day we are all doing the best we can! After that trip, I’ll never try it again: My baby is staying in her own sleeping bag! With my first son, I did not co sleep until he was 3 months old. Do not co-sleep if you are a smoker (either partner). For safer co-sleeping: Keep pillows, sheets, blankets away from your baby or any other items that could obstruct your baby’s breathing or cause them to overheat. My daughter slept in a babybay co-sleeper until she was 3 months old. Although possibly flawed, the studies have raised awareness of the need to co-sleep safety. Our modern beds and bedding are risky in so many cases (esp memory foam mattresses and thick comforters), and I would not have felt safe. But still that dark cloud of doom was still there. He’s 16mos now. Each family needs to do what is best for them, and cosleeping certainly worked for us. And not like bassinet co-sleep. All of your priorities will instantly shift to creating a life for your child as positive as possible. The risks are real. Si vous trouvez que le co-sleeping (appelé aussi co-dodo) est plus profitable à votre bébé et à vous-même, voici certaines précautions à prendre pour le pratiquer en toute sécurité. It was not something you did, it is just something that happened and there it nothing you can do to stop it but just be there for your child. Either you or your partner has drunk alcohol or taken drugs (including medications that may make … My husband and I have been bed sharing with our first son since day one. $48.59 $ 48. My husband and I co-sleep with our now 1 year old, and love it. Co-sleeping has its advantages for mother and baby, but it can put a strain on marital relations. I was not able to cosleep with my first because she and I are both very light sleepers and would wake each other up – and between that and her high needs temperament, I had a horrible case of PPD. I couldn’t imagine having to get up out of bed multiple times a night, even if his crib was in the same room. Now we are at almost 7 months, and my daughter still rouses frequently (every 1.5-2 hours these days) and needs to nurse to fall back asleep. But not only did it get more difficult to transition her there when she was sleeping, but I found she really slept better right next to me, and that’s where she stayed. It is very much a personal choice so we would just advise you to read all the information on safer co-sleeping so you can make an informed decision. This isn’t just aesthetically unappealing, it has been linked to brain development delay, if severe. Don’t overheat or over bundle baby. Just make sure you use the right equipment to do it. He transitioned very easily to a crib right next to our bed. If none of the risk factors are there and if parents are able to sleep well, I think it is great. I have never heard of an incident when a child was harmed from bed sharing when the parents followed safety precautions (not doing it they smoked, drank, sleep heavily, etc). Now…I think we will always have it on the floor. For safer co-sleeping: It is important for you to know that there are some circumstances in which co-sleeping with your baby can be very dangerous: You should never sleep together with your baby if any of the above points apply to you or your partner. This went on until just after her first birthday. We use cookies to give you the best possible online experience. We used this co-sleeper side car with both kids when they were newborns. My husband and I being first timers, we tried the bassinet by the bed and both my son and I dispised it. In some cases, the father finds that he has no space and moves to another room or the sofa, leaving the mother to fend for herself. With the exception of bad dreams or if she’s sick she has had no issues, and she is now a happy healthy 7 year old. My husband and I for the most part co slept with our daughter till she was about a year old. Co-sleeping is often thought to be synonymous with bed, but co-sleeping can also mean putting your baby to sleep in the same room as you, but in a separate bed. Back sleeping for all naps and at night. It is natural! Now, my youngest crawls all over the pillows (and again, my head! I tell many woman my story when asked what i think of co-sleeping? Don’t co-sleep with baby and you miss out on an important bonding experience, co-sleeping parents say. You could use baby sleeping bags instead. If you continue, we will assume you are happy for your web browser to receive all cookies from our website. They are all baffled. I believe the snuggle time we had every night when she was young helped. Breastfeeding reduces the chance of SIDS, so we would always try and help you work out a way to continue breastfeeding in the safest way possible. At 7 mo’s along they stop preterm labor and put me on bedrest for 2 months. Recently my husband and his son (which is here every second weekend) moved in with me and the baby, so now we have one huge bed we all share!!! When I got out I was not able to get up and down and my hubby had to bring her to me. Bed-sharing is where mother and baby use the same sleep space such as a bed or a chair. We just love it. I had mild PPD and cosleeping helped ease the terrible anxiety. She was 6 months old and the October weather was very cold, so I thought that it would be a good solution. Dr. McKenna notes in “Co-sleeping Around the World" that “for the overwhelming majority of mothers and babies around the globe today, co-sleeping is an unquestioned practice." Ugh, I really don’t want to write this one! We have co-slept with all of our kids, but the third one has been the longest so far (fourth baby is going on 10 months). She hates hates her crib! If I had it my way he would have been in my room until he was one year old! I have a post about all this on my blog somewhere. He nurses on demand and it is such a wonderful experience. Some worse than others. When he came home from the hospital, he just would not sleep in the crib at all. Sharing your room with your baby is believed to help the development of your baby’s senses and is one of the benefits of co-sleeping. Sleep on a firm, flat surface (not a waterbed, couch or sofa). Often when kids grow up they don’t like sleeping by themselves and will sleep with a sibling or cousin (often in the same bed) when they move out of their parent’s room. Coronavirus (COVID-19) and caring for your baby, Coping with sleep deprivation as a new parent, Safer Sleep for babies online presentations, Bereavement during the coronavirus pandemic, Supporting families during the coronavirus (COVID-19) outbreak, All-Party Parliamentary Group on Baby Loss, Set-up an email reminder for the Big Give, Top 10 socially distanced fundraising ideas, Care of Next Infant (CONI): Information For Professionals, CONI support during the coronavirus (COVID-19) outbreak, Cessation in Pregnancy Incentives Trial (CPIT), Investigating the microbiome of sudden unexpected deaths in infancy and childhood, Newborn hearing testing and the risk of unexpected infant or child death, SIDS Trio project: Familial evaluation in sudden infant death syndrome, How data can help reduce infant mortality seminar, The Lullaby Trust Grantholders Meeting 2016, The Lullaby Trust Grantholders Meeting 2017, The Lullaby Trust Grantholders Meeting 2018, Unicef’s leaflet on Caring for Your Baby at Night, Unicef’s guide Co-sleeping and SIDS: A Guide for Health Professionals. Genevieve – just curious how old your babies were when you transitioned them to a crib? We haven’t used a crib since the first baby. No it lift me feeling that this child would know how much she is loved because this is the only thing I can do. Why Co-Sleeping Can Harm Your Baby. I am a very particular sleeper so I cannot be comfortable with the baby in bed, even laying down to nurse I feared my breast would suffocate the baby constantly. Babies should never sleep on recliners, chairs, couches, sofas or water … Every Time I did drift off from sheer exhaustion I would wake with a jolt screaming she is blue where is she. My labor was 43 hours long, with no rest. I love co-sleeping. Made nursing at night easier and we loved to cuddle our little guy! We also nap with her when we are home (weekends and days off). That way if Dad moves and feels my arm, it makes him aware that baby is there. 10 days of fighting sleep because I feared my daughter would suffocate or cease to exist if I closed my eyes. Potentially less intimacy with partner (although, as cosleeping couples know, there are other places to have sex besides the bedroom). These might be instances when putting baby in her own sleeping space is better. I love telling my relatives and friends about how my baby ‘never cries at night’. We started right at birth to the present (he’s 9 months old). It is simply golden when nursing! If you think you might fall asleep on a sofa or armchair, put the baby down in a safe place to sleep. But parents choose to have their babies in bed with them for several reasons. Even if she was sound asleep I would wake her just to make sure she was sleeping. :/. . She is the bestselling author of The Mama Natural Week-by-Week Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth and creator of the Mama Natural Birth Course. We tried one of those nests that lay on the bed between us but he didn’t like it and would refuse to sleep in it. It is the Montessori method for baby sleeping. It seems ridiculous thinking back, but I can still remember how real my fear of SIDS was in the first months of my daughters life. I got a ring sling to baby wear. I finally “gave up” and tried co-sleeping. I’ve revised that section to make it clearer now. The second is that my husband Michael is a very light sleeper, and he struggles to stay asleep during the night. If you choose to co-sleep with your baby the safest place is a clear space on a firm flat mattress the same as we would advise with a cot. Our pediatrician always encouraged us to co-sleep because according to him mom and baby sleep better. I wake up in a panic off and on for hours, thinking I’ve smothered them. Parents often say that baby sleeps in his or her crib when, in reality, mom and baby sleep together at least part of the night. Co-sleeping is where mother and baby sleep in the same room but not necessarily in the same bed space. If she wasn’t such a good night sleeper and woke up screaming I think we might have kept her in our room a bit longer, but I guess we’ll see what happens with future babies…, My son slept in a bassinet in the room with us until he outgrew it. FREE Shipping by Amazon . My lo has slept for 10-12 hrs a night since she was 10 weeks old (on breastmilk) and for her, having her own space has been ideal. He has been in our bed since he was about a month (he was a 34 weeker, & spent about 3 weeks in NICU & we tried the pack & play by the bed method for about two weeks after him coming home but he was unable to sleep at all without us & NONE of us slept & honestly, my instincts screamed at the fact my baby was away from me during sleep times). Many people don’t have any other option. Baby Lounger and Baby Nest Perfect for Co Sleeping Baby Bassinet Soft Cotton Cosleeping Baby Bed Premium Quality and Suitable from 0-18 Months -Breathable & Hypoallergenic Portable Crib(Gray) 4.5 out of 5 stars 838. I have been co-sleeping with her on a mattress in her room but she is all over the place and neither of us are getting much sleep. She will occasionally come into our room and I don’t mind one bit. All Rights Reserved.The Lullaby Trust, CAN Mezzanine, 7-14 Great Dover Street, London SE1 4YR. Keep pillows, sheets and blankets away from your baby to avoid them over-heating or covering their face and obstructing their breathing. Having longer periods of sleep between feedings, I didn’t mind going to the other room to breastfeed and felt better rested than with 2-hour intervals without getting up. It never stopped me from growing up to being a strong independent woman. She is still feeding lota in the night and its nice and easy to have her snuggled up my armpit!! I start out by saying with a resounding yes I love it let me tell you a story.. AOLVO Baby Bassinet for Bed – this is very similar to a Dock-a-Tot (one reviewer notes, ‘like a Dock-a-Tot but without costing an arm and a leg’ ) so please note, these may not meet safe sleep standards in your location. Keep pillows, sheets, blankets away from your baby or any other items that could obstruct your baby’s breathing or cause them to overheat. This is because parents are more aware of their baby when baby is close (breathing, if they are to warm, has something over their face, another human being near helps regulate their breathing etc). I believe it is a lovely experience you can share with your children. Safe bedsharing guidelines require a firm mattress but I am also worried about flame retardants, etc. Not all new parents are excessively tired…. Thank goodness for my great sister in law and mother. Other nights it’s baby in his crib. We, however, bring her to our bed around 6am on the weekends and let her sleep with us until she decides to get up (around 7:30-8:00am). I think as long as everyone in the family is happy with the arrangement there is nothing wrong with it. I have been co sleeping for almost 5 1/2 years (now with my 11 mo old) and I don’t love it. That way the baby cannot get covered in between you by a shared blanket. I think if it was only for her she could be gradually moved to her own room, but it’s for both of us. Do not co-sleep or put baby to sleep on a couch! That being said, babywearing and lots of hands on care while awake also lends itself to bonding, and especially in a peaceful parenting style. As long as you don’t mind a few kicks once in a while I was attributing just the second half of my bullet, the part about bottle fed babies. SIDS scares me!! I felt so blessed. I am 8 months pregnant with my first and really appreciate all the mamas experiences in these comments. According to the researches of the child’s psychology – there’s a natural desire of the child until it’s able to take care of the self, to co-sleep with the parents. Co-sleeping is the act of a newborn, baby, or child sleeping close to one or both parents. I found that both of my girls had no problem weaning when they were ready, as well as no problems transitioning into their own beds when they were no longer waking up to nurse. Arrives before Christmas. I would nurse him to sleep every night at 7:30, and he would wake up at 4am for a quick feed and go back down until 7:30. We have gotten so many snuggles and cuddles that we would have missed out on had we not coslept. I work as a nurse in a community where opiate addiction, smoking and alcohol are very prevalent, and breastfeeding is uncommon after a few weeks. .embed-pin { So does that leave me feeling helpless? Moreover, they are also loud scrimers, so they can easily wake you up if something is wrong. This can be a very controversial topic. We just do what works in the moment. I’m currently co sleeping with my first, we’re exclusively breastfeeding so co sleeping does make it a world easier…especially after healing from giving birth. I have found that as long as we are close together we both have a much nicer sleep. I tried to graduate our first baby from a co-sleeper to a crib in his own room at about 4 mos, as that was what my friends did. As attachment expert Tami Breazeale says in “Co-Sleeping," the practice of mothers and babies sleeping separately is both a recent and a Western one. I think it’s also important to remember that whether your child is a “good” or “bad” sleeper that it’s biologically normal for young children to wake frequently & need their mamas. Your comment resonates with me, Kathleen. Place a crib or cot in your room with you for the first six months of your baby’s life. Let me know if you co-sleep or bed share too! However, it deny the risk is foolish. And it works for our family!!? We love it. Each kid is different and it will probably change every time. The older a child gets, the safer co-sleeping becomes. Mind you at the end it was only 1 time a day before the nap. She transitioned from our bed to her own very easily. On the other hand, a baby nestled close to mom can nurse without fully waking (and without fully waking mom either). If you do co-sleep with your baby, here are the recommendations for safe sleep: Make sure your baby can’t fall out of bed or become trapped between the mattress and wall. Love you, you are the first moma I have heard nursing as long as I did! Parents who consume alcohol or drugs or are on medications that make them sleepy should not bedshare. I love the extra cuddle time, but now that I’m pregnant with #2 it can be hard staying comfortable. ZarinaBC 15/11/12. Then,we hit the dreaded 4- month regression and she started wanting to just sucksucksuck all night long. .embed-pin { We still occasionally sleep in the same room at parents’ houses when space is short (she’s now 6 months), and neither us nor her ever sleep as well! Co-sleeping has become a hot-button parenting practice Co-sleep with baby and you increase the risk of SIDS, the majority of pediatricians warn. Then I realized that no matter what I do, I can’t stop things from happening. We all sleep and enjoy it! When he moved to the crib and his own room, I acrually woke up more for a while because I just missed him! Parents who sleep very deeply, are obese, sleepwalk, or are generally less aware of baby’s presence and location while sleeping should consider a. He is a very light sleeper and I have found this to be the best for us, it allows me to rest more & let him nurse when he needs to.We also travel a lot so a crib is not always available. She was a preemie and I saw so many benefits for her to sleep with us. Less stress and struggle at bedtime and through the night. Even then I don’t know if it would reduce my anxiety… All it takes is one horror story before I start to think I’m making the wrong decisions. Up until what age? (4)”. I think the health care providers need to realise it is a mother’s choice, and like you, offer the option with information about doing so safely. Baby Sleep: 20 Surefire Ways to Get a Newborn Down, http://www.wiselivingmama.com/#!Plagiocehaly-Brachycephaly-Flat-Head-SyndromeFind-out-What-Works/c1a1n/C6116F9A-30FE-4E80-B073-2044B83FC7AF. Still, cosleeping is more prevalent than most people think. We were in a bad neighborhood for her first 8 months so I was always worried someone would come in her window or something. That means making sure there are no hazards and that baby is sleeping in a safe environment. He will be 2 this Monday and he still sleeps with us sometimes. 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